Low self-esteem, how to not just survive but thrive.

Have you ever been haunted by the relentless whispers of self-doubt, questioning your worth and capabilities? It's time to put an end to the negative self-talk, break free from the suffocating grip of low self-esteem and try to thrive in life not just survive it.

Imagine shedding the constant burden of feeling inadequate, of second-guessing every step. Picture saying yes to opportunities without the weight of self-doubt holding you back, embracing experiences, weekend drinks, and even that elusive date.

I get it—I've walked that path too. Battling through low self-esteem, I hit rock bottom upon returning to work after my second child. Exhausted and overwhelmed, guilt and self-doubt consumed me. Antidepressants left me feeling numb yet I still felt incredibly anxious most of the time!

I was trapped in a cycle of questioning every decision I made, agonising over the smallest detail and yearning for the night, when I could crawl into bed and hibernate for a few hours.

But one day, I summoned the courage to contact a local counsellor. She was wonderful, warm, open and she listened as I talked and cried my way through all that was in my head and heart.  During the sessions, I confronted my deepest fears and beliefs about myself. It was so tough, to start with I even felt worse. However, as the sessions continued, I felt the weight of my thoughts lift. What was left behind was a truer, more authentic version of myself. I discovered happiness, realising that I was enough, worthy of both self-love and the love of those around me.

Now, I know it's not that easy and in truth, it took me some time to retrain my brain and develop new ways of thinking but I believe you too can silence that nagging voice and rediscover the strength to thrive.

Elevating your self-esteem can be a journey into self-discovery, and here are 5 steps that can help you become more confident in your ability and boost your self-esteem.

1. learning to forgive yourself:

Acknowledge your imperfections and learning to forgive yourself can be hard, but it’s essential to your emotional health and well-being. Embracing the lessons you gain from making mistakes, instead of dwelling on them, forgiving yourself and moving forward with compassion and understanding. Learning to talk to yourself with the same love and forgiveness you do to a friend can be life-changing.

2. Practice self-love:

Self-love is one of the most important aspects of a healthy and happy life. It's essential to take time for yourself, to focus on your well-being, and to practice loving yourself first. By doing this, you'll build a strong foundation of self-worth and confidence. Plus, when you love yourself first, you'll be more likely to make better decisions, hold your boundaries and respect your emotions. So, take a moment today to invest in yourself and practice loving yourself first — you deserve it!

3. Reframe Problems as Opportunities:

Try to look at problems or changes as an opportunity to grow and learn.  Rather than focusing on any perceived flaw. Pay attention to your strengths and uniqueness, this will help cultivate a positive mindset. If you are feeling low or the niggling voices are starting to creep in, write down all your accomplishments, strengths, skills or talents. No matter how small. They can serve as a powerful reminder during moments of self-doubt that you are strong, resilient and someone to be proud of.

4. Develop self-trust:

I know this can be one of the hardest steps but try and trust your instincts and believe in yourself. Embrace setbacks as opportunities to build resilience and reinforce your self-trust. Confronting disappointments head-on allows you to navigate stress with confidence, and this will in turn rewire your belief system. In time your self-trust will become part of you, and you'll wonder what you ever did without your internal compass.

5. Connect with others:

It's easy to get caught up in the daily grind and lose touch with those who matter most. Remember, reaching out doesn't require grand gestures. Prioritise connections with those who really matter to you. Whether that’s family friends or a trusted work college. Simple gestures, like a heartfelt message to someone you haven’t seen for a while or asking a neighbour out for a cup of tea, will strengthen your support system. Reaching out to loved ones enriches your life, providing a valuable network during challenging times.

Embracing these steps can be tricky, especially if you are feeling vulnerable but the more you do them the more your self-esteem will strengthen and flourish, propelling you toward a more empowered and fulfilled version of yourself.

In reality, cultivating self-esteem is a continuous journey that demands effort. By extending forgiveness and self-compassion to yourself, celebrating even the smallest victories, and embracing your authentic self—warts and all—you pave the way for genuine self-empowerment.

It's a process where self-love and acceptance intertwine, creating a foundation for lasting confidence and personal growth.

Good luck and you’ve got this!

Karena